bad gateway

I guess has some crappy servers because I keep getting that message, so I’m moving my posts here.  You’ll probably see posts appear and disappear a lot until I get this figured out.  Be patient.  Even if it turns out that I can’t get it moved over, I’m still going to use this blog instead.

Why you shouldn't shop at Hobby Lobby

I will give you a one thousand word essay on why you shouldn’t shop at Hobby Lobby if there is one in your area.

Get it? It’s a picture! All joking aside, I took this picture yesterday. It’s posted at the entrance. I told my mom about it, and she said that all companies can search people as if they were the police, who also have no right to search people, but they don’t all necessarily publicize it. I don’t wonder why not. I saw this and was outraged. If stores reserve the right to conduct illegal searches, then I reserve the right to shoplift from them.

They mention that they can search cars in the parking lot, but they also say that people who refuse to cooperate, as everyone should, they will be escorted from the premises. How do you escort a car from the premises?

There was only one rule

(This is another Yahweh’s advocate post.)

As if there weren’t enough problems with the story of Adam and Eve, I found another one.  Christians like to talk about how Adam and Eve only had to follow one rule, and they were free to do whatever else they wanted.  Does that mean that it would have been okay for one of them to kill the other?  Would Yahweh have been all right with it if they had made a statue and started to worship it?  Clearly, lying wasn’t a sin because Yahweh did that when he told them they would die if they ate from the tree of death, I mean the tree of knowledge.  In fact, as far as I’ve read, never in all of Genesis does Yahweh condemn lying.  He rewarded Jacob for lying to and stealing from his brother repeatedly.

It could be argued that since Adam and Steve didn’t know about good and evil, they couldn’t have committed any other sin.  Did they know disobedience?  If they only knew to disobey Yahweh and eat from the tree, and that is why it was the only sin they could have committed, then would they have killed each other if he had told them not to?  Would they have disobeyed any order he gave them?

Learning what sin is cannot possibly be considered a sin.  If that is what gave mankind a sinful nature, then it was a flaw in our design that made sin so attractive to us.  We find it fun to do what Yahweh doesn’t want us to do.  That’s not our fault.

intelligent design is anti-science

Intelligent design is seen by many (including me) as a movement by religious groups to christianize the country by teaching anti-science in science classes at school.  To define it generously and so incredibly kindly that I deserve the Nobel peace prize just for writing this, intelligent design is the idea that life is too complex and ordered to have come about through purely natural processes.  It is to science what atheism is to theism (except that it isn’t a good thing).

We would have to go back in time (get on that, Ceej) to find out for sure how it REALLY happened, but if scientists successfully produce self-replicating life in laboratories, then it is strong evidence that it may have happened that way on Earth.  Some people, however, can’t stand the idea that their god didn’t create the universe, and they have fought every scientific discovery that has proposed a naturalistic explanation for natural phemonema.  I mean phenomena.

Wait… yeah, phenomena.

Given science’s track record, what are the odds that the religious “right” is right on this one?  Furthermore, it is useless to teach about intelligent design in public schools because most people in the territory illegally claimed by the U.S. government were raised with religion or were made well aware of it at some point.  We were all exposed to the idea that magic man done it long before we were even old enough to know what science was, and if we find scientific explanations persuasive, it must be because they actually are.  It is not the goal of science to destroy religion.  If what it reveals about the universe achieves that, it is religion’s fault for being wrong and stupid.

Intelligent design claims that life is too complex to have come about “by accident”.  (As objectionable as the term may seem, it’s actually a good description of the event that sparked life on Earth.  Accidents aren’t always bad, and who says life is so great?  Living things, that’s who.)  This is an argument from ignorance.  “I don’t understand it, so it must have just happened by magic.  Now let’s stop thinking and eat lead paint chips.”  We cannot make sound assumptions based on a lack of information.  Not knowing something isn’t knowing something.  Also, lead is poisonous, and eating it can cause brain damage or death.

If life is too complex to have not been designed, then who or what designed life’s designer, whatever it may be?  Surely that force must be at least as complex as life, and probably much more.  If beings can be unbound by time, then why can’t the universe and the natural laws that made life possible also be unbound by time?  If the goal of intelligent design is to prove that a being that exists beyond the physical and temporal realms, then it is clear that its goal is to spread religion and undermine science.  You don’t keep your pet fox in the chicken coop, so you can’t allow science to be infiltrated by intelligent design.

canker sticks

Jimmy and the willow had another time to spout, and they took the opportunity to book it over to the quarry.  Upon closer reflection, it seemed unusual that nobody should even make an attempt to slay the giant pillow watermelon, but the point to sleep is to have another smoothie.  Cellphone face and orange juice spider man.  Such sentences should be written in cursive or handed down by a judge with warts the size of a six.  Killingly squoon-fed balmoofs are in favor of removing the rights of sheldonspheres to have their one two five in pieces rather than in the shape of eight hundred thousand flightless birds in flight.  The zoo is the place to be.  For webspace to cost legitimately, one must stay eyeball brains of can will not should maybe.  But why oh why, commas, commas, commas, another comma, comma, comma, not a comma.  Toenail clippers are necessary, but not in the age of chewsaw clams, which are fished up from the bottom of a moon pie.  Sippery Pete penciled it in on his day off, so shut up about it.

Quarters of neutral penny stereo equipment insured for millions in a manner best described as gackity belie the syntax of bottlecap nutswabs.  Ah, but now we see the fallacy of the flaming eraser, which reads for dollar bills to the ant queen.  I am the purple duck you have been looking for.  But why?  Semicolon; semicolon; semicolon; {curly brackets}!

The Colony part 5

The queen-to-be was named Nauqenet.  Since her birth, Queen Blix didn’t say anything to anyone.  She simply did what a queen was expected to do, and nobody found it strange that her behavior changed so much.  The drones were glad to have things running smoothly and quietly again.

Nauqenet grew quickly to maturity but behaved in a manor very similar to her mother, which did not surprise anyone.  She spoke many thoughts and ideas to those around her despite the fact that nobody ever added to the conversation or encouraged her to share with them.  They disliked her tendencies, but they still loved her as a sister and member of the colony.  They also gave her the respect any drone was expected to show a queen.  After all, she was their physical superior, and she would presumably one day start her own colony.

Outwardly, Nauqenet seemed very sure of herself, which nobody had any idea was actually very unusual for a young ant of any class, but inside, she was conflicted.  She felt like there was something very important she had forgotten.  She had a drive to leave the colony and be on her own, but she somehow understood on a deep level that there were many dangers on the surface.  Nobody could give her any advice, and it was that that proved to be what convinced her to leave.  She entered the queen’s chamber before she left, feeling like she owed her a goodbye.

“I’m leaving now, mother,” she said.  The queen nodded in acknowledgment.  “I don’t suppose there’s anything about the surface that you know that might help me to survive.  You’ve been up there, haven’t you?”

Queen Blix didn’t seem to understand the request.  Giving up, Nauqenet turned and left.  She crawled through the tunnels she had come to know so well over the weeks of her life and stepped carefully out to the surface.  It was almost as dark out there as it was under ground because it was night.  Nauqenet had never seen the sky.  Dotted with little white points of light, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.  There was a much larger light up there as well shaped like a crescent.

That must be their queen, she thought.

Nauqenet wiggled her wings a little to make sure they worked and then beat them as quickly as she could, lifting off into the air.  Everything below her looked so much smaller.  The grass jungle stretched out and stopped at a row of smooth, rectangular mounds in many different colors.  There were also much larger blades of grass that were brown except for leaves growing on top.  Nauqenet flew toward one of them and landed on it.  She had flown for only a few minutes, but she was tired and hoped to find some food.  There was something else she wanted, but when she thought about it, it felt wrong.  She wanted to find a mate, but she also didn’t want that.

That’s what all the other queens do.  I don’t want to be like them.  Mother is just as mindless as everyone else.  If I start a colony, I’ll become like that too.  I’d rather be dead.

She decided to explore instead.  Once she had regained some energy, she flew toward one of the colored mounds.  Light came out of it somehow, and Nauqenet found that there was an opening in the side.  She landed on the side of the mound and crawled inside.  The mound was hollow inside, filled with piles of wood, stone, and cloth.  It smelled like food.  Taking again to the air, Nauqenet ventured further in but was startled to the ground when she heard what sounded like semi-melodic thunder.

The Colony part 4

Who am I? Queen Blix wondered.

Suddenly, the chamber where she gave birth to her children seemed to be shrinking on her.  It was dark, and her eyes hungered for light.  It was cold, and her body hungered for warmth.

“Scout 111548!” she called, sensing the presence of that particular scout nearby.  She knew all of her children as well as a mother should.  The scout entered without delay.  “I need to get out of here,” she told the scout.  “Get a digging team to widen the tunnel so I can get through.”

“Your majesty, I would do anything you asked except for that,” Scout 111548 replied.  “The colony needs you where you are.”

No drone had ever refused to follow an order before.  Queen Blix was truly taken aback.

“You don’t understand,” she said.  “I have to get out of here.  I’m not leaving the colony.  I just need to see the sun again.  I need to be outside for a little while.

“I’m truly sorry, my queen, but I cannot obey.  You have to stay here.”

Blix couldn’t believe it.  She had lived her whole life thinking she was in charge, but she was a prisoner all along – a prisoner of her role in society as dictated by nature.  She didn’t want to do it any more.  She wanted out.

“I am your mother!” she shouted.  “You will do as I say!  Dig me out right now!”

“We need you too much,” replied 111548.  She would have left, but she had not been ordered to leave, so she stayed.

The queen’s resentment of her children’s mindless acceptance of their lots in life resurfaced.  They all thought the same way.  They were all like the same ant.  Why was she different then?  She was even different from the other queens, who were content to sit in a dark room giving birth, forgetting the adventures they had while they searched for a mate so they could start a colony.  Had they even been paying attention during that time?  Were the wonders of the world lost on all other ants?  Was the desire for freedom unique to Blix?

Blix dismissed Scout 111548 and thought for a long time about a possible solution to her problem.  Three sets of new children were added to the colony’s population before she had an idea.  She called in a nearby drone and told her to pay special attention to one particular larva.  After she examined it for a few seconds, the drone took it away and relayed the queen’s orders to the ants in charge of feeding the young.  The drones didn’t realize that when an ant grows up having been fed well enough, it becomes a queen capable of reproduction and, more importantly, flight.

Hitler wasn't so bad

WHAT?  How dare I say such a thing!   This is an outrage!   It’s worse than calling someone a nigger!   It’s worse than raping a thousand babies!  It’s worse than using kitten blood as a fabric softener!

Calm down, you psycho.  I’m illustrating a point.  We have been taught by society to hate Hitler for what he did during World War II because apparently it’s a prerequisite for being a good person.  Torturing and killing millions of people seems like a reprehensible thing to do since it makes people feel bad, but Hitler alone didn’t do it.  Lots and lots of people chose to help him.  That’s not my point though.

My point is that the first reaction people have to things is generally emotional, and more often than not, they go directly from that to action.  If they do any thinking at all, it goes last and often leads to regret.  A small percentage of people are able to go from feeling to thinking before action, and this is a great thing to be able to do because it gives them the power to avoid regrets.

People have the right to have whatever opinion of Hitler that they want, even if it’s different from yours.  There are still nazis in the world, and they have the same rights that you do.  Judge yourself before you judge them.  I’m not saying to not judge them at all.  Go ahead and judge if you’ve judged yourself.  Go ahead.  I dare  you.  I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!!  Be a nazi nazi if you want.  The truth is that Adolph Hitler wasn’t 100% evil, and if I say that Hitler wasn’t so bad, I might mean Adolph’s father or grandfather.  I might even be talking about a stuffed animal with a small rip in its foot.  It’s still intact.  It’s not so bad.

Tankle Gamp

Why is it that whenever a leaf falls to the ankle of a pure white snow, not to be confused with racially pure white, which everyone knows is to swim home from camp, there is a musical chair attack? It makes no blood. Can’t I jump from here to there without two cents worth of nickels? Cookies might not think so, but scissors have reason to doubt. The validity of sparkle tubes is deeply rooted in lampshades and will not be outdone by a porcupine like you. Slamtastic! Glue the feathers and move on please.