the one that went that way

I didn’t know that it was time to have another meal,
But every day I eat a mime, my eyes get full of zeal.
To kill a thousand paragraphs in fits of raging mop
Would surely drown a farm of ants and laugh at Carrot Top.
Smelly ankles, dirty floors, and miles of sparkling moss.
They all walk into wooden doors, but please don’t tell the boss.

I cannot stand to sit down. I cannot jump the bus.
Death only slightly stronger than the five of us.

I am not quite as special. I’m lying. Yes I am.
But you can trust that I will learn to fly like Superman.

the greatest web comic ever

Yesterday was a sad day because my favorite web comic, Girly, ended with its 764th page. I started reading it when it was at #123 (reading through from the beginning, of course). The comic is about a girl who starts following around another girl and declares her to be her sidekick. With some persistence, the reluctant sidekick agrees, and they have wacky adventures. It is both hilarious and epic at the same time. If you don’t go check it out, I will be forced to threaten you. Don’t make me threaten you.

Another notable web comic is xkcd.

Swizzle Soop

Our regularly scheduled hemp oil salesman will not be skewered today. The following is a paid scrampolation from the ramparts of the following racism. Be advised: do not be advised. This is your last warning. Granola clusters of shiny face toenails willy nilly in Walla Walla, for the paper trail reigns thin upon the speaker plugs of glue. Floataciousness is the difference between the first column and the 13th warrior. Fojumpcandriverd. Stick that in your wallet and clive tornado. Smampy, the wad of broken up purple smurf, and I’m here to say that I rhyme with the beat of a different rapist. Removed squaggles of hizzle frim fram prommity doofus.

We, the lotus blossoms, in order to open a more orangeriffic onion, have the right to remain pop tab. Anything we clam or slip can and will be the land of the crave and the home of the deep. Artistic discography for a limited time. Order tomorrow!


I got an interesting comment on my last article/blog/notblog.

In my experience, the people who are crummy people are usually the ones that convince themselves they’re the entitled ones who are great in every way.

I realize, Ceej, that you didn’t say that thinking one is entitled makes one crummy. You just said that most of the crummy people you’ve met do not think of themselves as crummy and most of the people you’ve met who think they are crummy are actually not.

I’ve gone through times when I thought that something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t as good as other people, and with years and years of constant thought, I overcame that attitude. I had freed my mind to the point where I realized that I was comparing myself to other people, and I didn’t have to. Through force of will, I changed my way of thinking and realized that I was always exactly the person I should be. The only thing that has ever been wrong with me is that I thought there was something wrong with me.

And it is by that mode of thinking that I believe there is something wrong with everyone who thinks there is something wrong with them. If you think you are a crummy person, then you are simply because you think so. All you have to do is stop thinking that, and it will no longer be true. When a person refuses to feel bad about itself (using a gender neutral pronoun, not referring to people as objects, though their bodies are), it causes a shift in attitude that, to an outside observer, can resemble arrogance. Maybe it even is, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be there. Some people are every bit as great as they think they are, and some are even greater. And some people are every bit as crummy as they think they are.

Who decides an individual’s worth? Society? The company it work for? Its family? Random strangers? No. Nobody is more qualified to judge the value of an individual than the individual itself.

To think like a genius

What do you call someone who is really good at thinking or learning?  If you don’t already know what the answer is, then clearly you are not one.  Not everyone can be perfect.  In terms of general intelligence, there is no position higher than genius.  (Prodigy and savant deal with aptitudes in specific fields.)

So why is it that the ideas of geniuses are so often dismissed as crazy?  How can a person with superior mental ability be regarded as anything but that to which everyone should aspire?  If you disagree with the opinion of someone who is smarter than you, you are probably wrong.  It would behoove you to think about it until your opinion conforms to that of the more intelligent person.

Idiots like to call us nerds or geeks because we struggle with or abstain from social interaction due to our greater interest in intellectual pursuits.  It’s easy to dismiss this treatment as mere jealousy, but that’s often their reasoning for bad treatment they suffer, so while it is one cromulant explanation, let’s keep thinking.  Social interaction is essential to the propagation of the species.  From an evolutionary standpoint, a person with more interest in evolutionary biology than convincing people to have sex with them is at a great disadvantage.  The idiots have a sound basis for their criticism of their intellectual superiors.

To navigate the stormy sea of social interaction, true north is regarded as a tremendous importance being placed on allowing one’s emotions to guide one’s thinking.  This means that for most people, thinking ends when negative emotional sensations begin.  It manifests as a desire to think and do what is good and to avoid what is evil.  This desire makes people easy to manipulate, but it is also what greases the wheels of people’s social lives.

Geniuses don’t let their emotions cloud their thinking as much as non-geniuses.  We see things for what they objectively are, and we act on our thoughts rather than our feelings.  Sometimes the truth of something causes bad feelings, and when we act on something like that, we are regarded as evil or insane.  When the way a genius thinks causes negative emotions in a regular person, the regular person disregards that his or her intellectual superior is more likely to be correct.  Right and wrong are judged by most to be what feels good rather than what is logical.

Emotions can and should contribute to our thinking, but the lead must be given to logic.  Those whose actions are directed by unbiased, logical, and minimal emotional guidance should be revered, supported, and trusted.

The Colony part 7

Throughout dinner, Nauqenet’s attention was most focused on the largest human, the one who had saved her before.  She wanted to know more about him.  She wanted to talk to him, if that was possible.  Suddenly, the sound of wind came from a few feet away, and a gust of strangely cold air blew the ant queen off the ceiling.  She waved her wings madly, ending up on her savior’s shoulder.  The other humans looked right at her and began to make even louder noises than before.  The second largest one handed the one on whose shoulder she landed what looked like a broad, white, rectangular leaf.  In a panic, Nauqenet crawled to the large human’s neck, touched her antennae to it, and pleaded with him, “Don’t kill me!”

The human paused at that instant.  Surely he didn’t understand her.  That was impossible, right?  He put down the leaf, much to the objections of his family and replied, “Did you just talk?”

He made his reply verbally, which the ant queen could not understand, but the thoughts behind it traveled into her antennae in the same way that communication between ants worked  Nauqenet didn’t know what to say.  She didn’t expect to actually be able to communicate with a being so different from herself.  She had no idea their minds could be that complex.

After the human made his reply to Nauqnet, the other humans fell silent.  The two larvae looked at Nauqenet while the other adult trained her eyes on the largest human.  What were they thinking?

“Our minds are compatible,” the ant queen said.  “My name is… Nauqenet.  You saved me once in the forest.  I know you did it on purpose.  I can’t believe I get to thank you for it.”

The other adult made some noise, and the one the queen was talking to replied to it, “She’s thanking me for not stepping on her a few days ago.  I’m going to go let her out in the backyard.”

He stood up, opened a flap in the wall, and stepped outside.  Once the flap was closed, he said, “My name is Josh.  How are we talking like this?”

“All ants communicate this way,” Nauqenet told him.  “We connect our minds and think to each other.  Are you a queen?”

Josh laughed.  “I’m a man, so I’m more of a king, but don’t tell my wife.”


“She’s like a partner.  We live together and raise kids, kinda like what you do, except on a much smaller scale.”

“You work with your queen as an equal and have only a few children?”

“Yeah, it’s how all human families work.  Well, most of them.  Instead of just one woman giving birth to thousands of babies, we have an equal number of men and women.  That way, each woman only has to have a few kids to keep the species going.”

“Does ever human have a mind of its own?”

Josh wasn’t sure what she meant by that.  As he hesitated and tried to understand the question, his wife came out.  She made some sounds at him, and he replied to her, “I know it seems crazy.  Let her talk to you, and you’ll see that I’m right.  Nauqenet, show her.”

The ant queen looked at the woman and didn’t like her expression as she looked back.  Josh’s wife was afraid of insects, no matter how small they were, especially winged ones.  Still, she put her hand down near her so that she could crawl on.  She didn’t want to believe her husband was crazy.