8 More Days

That’s how soon I get to leave this place and go back to nice warm Texas. I’m very tired of the way I’m treated in this house, like nothing I say means anything because I’m not on the lease or paying rent. I am paying a portion of November’s utilities, so you’d think that would get me some respect, but no. They can’t really force me to pay anything anyway, so I could just tell them that I’m giving them as much consideration as they’re giving me. Nicole and Nichole haven’t done or said anything to annoy me, but the other two are complete jackasses. They seem nice sometimes, but many times they’ve treated me with complete disrespect because I don’t pay rent here. They think we’re back in medieval times and I’m their vassal. Jake (or whatever his name is, it doesn’t matter) is overemotional, manipulative, and very arrogant, and his arrogance doesn’t match his abilities. He’s a child. Then there’s Cal (again, his name is insignificant), who stomps around the house in a constant rage whenever he isn’t in his room stinking it up with marijuana. I don’t mind that he smokes. I think he should smoke a whole lot more. What I don’t like is that he hates his life and takes it out on me when I do the littlest thing to set it off, like not take off my shoes the instant I come into the house. He goes into his “angry dad” routine, lecturing me on the rules of the house, which I don’t give a shit about, honestly. If he and Johnny weren’t such idiots, I’d have some respect for them, but this is how it is.

I’m going to be rich!

I got this email, and I soooo can’t wait to get the money. It must be legit because I want it to be. Yep, that’s how reality works. If you have any good things to say to this guy, go ahead and send him an email. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.
————————–
Dear Friend,

I am Todd Williams a staff of Natwest Bank plc London. I am the head of
the accounts department.I am pleased to get across to you for a very
urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the
both of us . I contacted you after a careful thought that you might be
capable of handling this business transaction, which i explained below.
The sum of ( £ 18,500,000.00 Million Pounds), has been floating as
unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all attempts to trace his next of kin
were fruitless. My position here at my office requires me to investigate
and I therefore made further investigations and discovered that Mr.
Andreas Schranner did not declare any next of kin or relation in all his
official documents, including his bank deposit paperwork in my bank. Mr.
Andreas schranner, his wife Maria , their daughter Andréa eich, her
husband Christian, and their children katharina and maximilian all died in
the air France concord plane crash bound for New York in their plan for a
world cruise. All documents and proof that will have you claim this fund
without stress will be forwarded to you upon your response to this mail, i
have agreed to offer you (£4m) of the total sum for the assistance and
(£2m)will be given to charity organizations in your country while the
remaining will be for me.Please send your confidential telephone and fax
number in your reply to this business transaction.

Reply To Email: todd64williams@gmail.com

Kind Regards ,
Todd Williams(Mr.)

This Old House…

I am very glad that I’m coming back home in two weeks because I do not like it in this house. There is always so much tension, and I know that a good portion of it is aimed at me, as was illustrated tonight at the “house meeting”. (I’m not using quotes to suggest any kind of disbelief that it was a real or proper house meeting. I’m denoting that that’s what they call it.) At the heart of it, it’s my fault for jumping into this situation without looking. I knew it was a mistake the moment I began to imagine leaving Katy for here. Therefore, I am not blaming anybody but myself. This is all happening because I wanted it to. Well, it’s not like I waved a magic wand and made things happen. They could have gone many different ways, and I hoped that this adventure would have turned out to be the end of my struggle to find a niche in society, but in my cold, logical mind, I knew that it would most likely end up sucking a whole lot. All in all, it hasn’t been as bad as it could have been. Then again, it can still get worse in my last two weeks here.

One of the tenants here is a 20 year old kid, and he has an attitude of superiority over me because he and the others are letting me stay here. I acknowledge that they are doing me a huge favor, but that doesn’t mean that I have to act like this one kid is my master and agree with everything he says and apologize for every offense that he imagines I perpetrated. I’ll sleep in the snow before I act like his subordinate. I would explain to him that he holds nothing over me and that his attitude is totally uncalled for, but his ears are plugged by his emotions. They block ideas from getting into his mind, like everyone in the months following the teenage years. I’ll just try to be cordial until it’s time for me to go back home.

FBI Alert Notice!

This came to me from a233z@live.ca, so I thought I’d post it as a blog. No, I don’t think it’s real. I think it’s funny, and I’ll post any others I get that I find humorous. If you feel like prank emailing them or putting them on some kind of weird mailing lists, go ahead.
—————————-
From: Agent John Edward’s office
Regional Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Intelligence Field Unit
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C.
20535-0001, USA

URGENT ATTENTION

I AM SPECIAL AGENT JOHN FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT. WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND CONFISCATED TWO (2) TRUNK BOXES AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS.

WE HAVE SCANNED THE SAID BOXES, AND HAVE FOUND IT TO CONTAIN A TOTAL SUM OF USD4.1M AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOXES. INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOXES INTO THE UNITED STATES HAS IT THAT HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS YOUR CONTRACT/ INHERITANCE PAYMENT WHICH WAS DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF GENERAL PETER OLU IN NIGERIA OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA.

WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION IN THE BOXES, AND WERE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT, WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOXES IS LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTATION WHICH AS A RESULT, THE BOXES HAVE BEEN CONFISCATED UNTIL THE REQUIRED DOCUMENT IS PROVIDED.

ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 1991 CONSTITUTION ON RELEASE OF UNCLAIMED CONSIGNMENT PAYMENT, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS FUNDS OWNWESHIP CERTIFICATE AND FOR THAT REASON YOU MUST CONTACT ME FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE, SO THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT CAN BE LEGALLY CLEARED AND OKAY FOR DELIVERY TO YOU,

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THIS BUREAU WITHIN 72HOURS OR WE WOULD TAKE IT THAT YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR CONSIGNMENT, AND WOULD MOVE IT TO THE TREASURY

ALSO, YOU MUST NOT CONTACT ANY OTHER BANK FOR ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT IS HERE IN CARE OF OUR STORAGE VAULT TEAM AND WILL BE RELEASED TO YOU ONCE YOU FOLLOW MY DIRECTIONS.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

YOURS IN SERVICE

Agent John Edward
Regional Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Intelligence Field Unit
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C.
20535-0001, USA

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This communication and its attachments may contain non-public, confidential or legally privileged information. The unlawful interception, use or disclosure of such information is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, or have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply email and delete all copies of this communication and attachments without reading or saving them.

Moons of Jupiter

Holy crap! Jupiter has 63 confirmed moons! Jesus Allah Buddha Spider-Man Odin Mr. Magoo!
——-
Metis
Adrastea
Amalthea
Thebe
Io
Europa
Ganymede
Callisto
Themisto
Leda
Himaliya
Lysithea
Elara
S/2000 J 11 (I’d like to read the Greek myth this name came from.)
Carpo
S/2003 J 12
Euporie
S/2003 J 3
S/2003 J 18
Thelxinoe
Euanthe
Helike (I guess she doesn’t like or is indifferent)
Orthosie
Iocaste
S/2003 J 16
Praxidike
Harpalyke
Mneme
Hermippe
Thyone
Ananke
Herse
Aitne
Kale
Taygete
S/2003 J 19
Chaldene
S/2003 J 15
S/2003 J 10
S/2003 J 23
Erinome
Aoede
Kallichore
Kalyke
Carme
Callirrhoe
Eurydome
Pasithee
Kore
Cyllene
Eukelade
S/2003 J 4
Pasiphaë
Hegemone
Arche (No Bette or Veronice, I suppose)
Isonoe
S/2003 J 5
S/2003 J 9
Sinope
Sponde
Autonoe (So don’t bother asking)
Megaclite
S/2003 J 2
AND FINALLY… oh, that’s it.

Smoking

Does everyone not know that cigarettes are addictive? Isn’t it one of the things that they have to print on the packages? Even if it wasn’t printed on there, it’s been well documented that once you start smoking, you WILL get addicted. So when a person is stupid enough to start for whatever stupid reason they do, the suffering they go through during the quitting process is something they totally have coming. They deserve no sympathy or congratulations. They are getting what they knew they would get when they started. I’m not judging them for their suffering. I’m judging them for complaining about it.

OW! I hit myself on the finger with a hammer, and now my finger is swollen! I can’t put gloves on, and it’s cold outside! Woe is me!

The rabid dog I was playing with bit me!

I threw a rock at a beehive, and now I have eighteen stings on my face!

If you’re going to smoke, be smart about it and don’t smoke cigarettes. Smoke pot or something else instead. Don’t put yourself purposely in an unpleasant situation and then complain that it’s unpleasant. You knew what you were getting yourself into.