A Figment’s Tale part 15

I didn’t end up really totally finishing this chapter, so I’m just going to leave it short. Enjoy!


Catholic Yahweh’s eyes shot open, and his whole body, imaginary as it was, tensed up like he was being electrocuted. His face didn’t register pain, though. He appeared to be experiencing a profound revelation. All over the world, men and women in hospitals behaved the same way, baffling doctors and nurses. After about a minute, Happy Face stopped the infusion, and Catholic Yahweh relaxed again, looking much healthier.

“That seemed to work,” Happy said, slightly fatigued.

“I’ll say,” Catholic Yahweh replied breathlessly. “That woke up every single one of my people and restored most of my power. I’d say it was a miracle, but you’re not a god.”

“You’re not either,” Happy said. “Not really. You’re the same kind of thing that I am, so either that was a miracle or there are no miracles. But it doesn’t matter what we call it. It’s done, and now I’ve undone the damage I did.”

“Hold on,” Catholic Yahweh said, sitting up. “You said that the Bureau came to visit your ‘other’ before.”

“Yeah, they sent some goons.”

“Can I assume, then, that you’re not working with them?”

“We are, actually. They made us a really good offer, and they seem to be on the up and up.”

“That’s good. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The angels say you and Josh are a good man. Don’t let the Bureau change that.”

“It’s all right. They just want me to investigate Scirotology and some guy named Dave or something like that. We won’t be hurting anybody.”

“That’ll be someone else’s job if the god they’re making won’t cooperate with them.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Happy said. “Now we should get going so we can find a place to live. See you around.”


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