A Figment’s Tale part 17

Happy invisibly accompanied Joshua as he went to many stores buying furniture, clothes, appliances, dishes, silverware, and everything else they would need for their new place. It was all delivered that day in a giant circus of delivery madness.

That evening, everything was in place and cleaned up. Joshua collapsed on the couch with a pizza he’d ordered on the coffee table in front of him. Happy appeared floating over it.

“Finally!” he exclaimed. “That was a surprising amount of work. We probably could have done all that faster ourselves.”

“Probably,” Joshua said. “But sometimes it’s better to do things the normal way. I’m just glad it’s all paid for. Let’s see what’s on the news.”

Joshua picked up one of the remotes and turned on the big TV. All the major news outlets were reporting on the mysterious coma that the world’s Catholics fell into and then suddenly woke up from all at once. Doctors were baffled, but the families of the victims were relieved. Fox News blamed the president.

Then came the commercials, which Joshua usually didn’t pay attention to, but the first one started with the logo of the Church of Scirotology. It faded to a man standing in an empty field of white. He appeared to be in his early forties and had a serene smile on his face.

“Creepy,” Happy remarked.

The man on the TV said, “I’m sorry to interrupt the show you were watching, but I have something important to tell you. It’s the most important thing anybody has ever told you. It’s the secret to actualizing your true potential. I want to tell you how to harness your infinite potential for personal power over your life and your environment. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to do it right now, but if you come by the Center for the Scirotological Arts in downtown Houston, I will put you on the path to awakening the sleeping power within you. The address is on the screen. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Joshua wrote it down on a pad of paper: 2727 Fraudren, Suite 1A.

“When are we going?” Happy asked.

“Tomorrow,” Joshua replied. “Tonight we have a new bed to sleep in.”

“Maybe I could just go,” Happy suggested. “I could be invisible and patch you in on everything I see and hear.”

“I like that idea, but we’d probably be more effective together. I can do things you can’t, and you can do things I can’t. We’re getting paid a lot to do this, and I don’t want to half-ass it, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I can hear what he’s saying but not what he’s thinking.”

“Assuming we even meet the head guy tomorrow. Whoever we talk to, it’ll help to know what’s going on in his or her head, and you never know when your muscle will prove helpful.”

“That’s right. We’re a team. We can keep each other from making mistakes too.”

For the first time in quite a while, both Joshua and Happy Face slept. They woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and strong. They were ready to join a new religion.

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