It’s been a while since anything has bothered me enough to want to blog about it. I edit book submissions for a small publishing company called Grey Gecko Press, and a few weeks ago, I got an email about how my editing style and that of another editor have been conflicting on a recent project. As I look over the other editor’s work, I see a lot that I wish I’d caught. The more I see that she fixed, the more it feels like she’s better at editing than I am.
What really bothers me is the idea that I did a bad job. That’s probably not the case, but maybe I could have done better on this book. I don’t get very much work, so when I get something after a long lull, I’m rusty. I procrastinate and end up not spending the time I should be spending carefully looking through everything. It’s not just that someone did a better job. It’s that I did a bad job.
I guess I’m disappointed with the work I did, and now it’s being pointed out in a way that nobody is saying what I’m worried about (other than myself), but I think my failure is a big part of the reason for the “conflicting styles.”
So what’s going on underneath it all? Am I losing interest in editing? I do that too much. I start learning to do something, I get good at it, my talents are recognized, and then I lose interest and move on to something else. Then my skills fail as I go through the motions disguised as the person who is really good at that thing but isn’t any more because I don’t care about it any more. Maybe I have ADHD. Or maybe this is normal. Hey, is this why people get jobs and then become miserable? Are they just bored with the monotony of a career they’ve invested so much time and money building?
Well, it’s not like I’ve invested all that much into editing. And I don’t think I’ve really lost interest. I lost focus. When there’s something that I have to spend a lot of time focusing on, like a video project or an editing project, I get guilted because of the time I’m not spending with other people.
Blerg. I just hope this all blows over soon. I have too much on my plate sometimes.